The Dignity of the Pause: Reclaiming the Spirit of the Donkey

For centuries, the donkey has been the victim of a global misunderstanding. We have woven their name into our languages as a synonym for stupidity, stubbornness, and low status. We laugh at the "hee-haw" and mock the animal that stops in its tracks. But as we celebrate World Donkey Day, it is time to ask: who is truly being foolish—the animal that thinks before it acts, or the society that mocks it for doing so?

The thoughtful Pause:

In the animal kingdom, most creatures react with blind instinct. A horse may bolt in a panic, and a dog may bark without cause, but a donkey does something far more sophisticated: it assesses. When a donkey stops on a narrow mountain path or refuses to cross a bridge, it isn’t being "difficult." It is conducting a silent risk assessment. It has a built-in sense of self-preservation and logic that refuses to be bullied by a whip or a shout. In a world that prizes speed over safety, the donkey is a quiet philosopher of caution.

Beyond their intelligence, donkeys possess an emotional gravity, that is rare in nature. They are "pair-bonders," creatures of profound loyalty who often choose a single best friend for life. This isn't just social behavior; it is a deep emotional investment. If separated from their companion, a donkey can fall into a visible, physical state of grief. They carry their hearts in their long, rotating ears—listening not just for danger, but for the familiar voice of a friend.

Furthermore, their memory is a marvel of the natural world. A donkey doesn't just remember a trail; it remembers a person’s character. If you treat a donkey with kindness today, it will recognize your face and your spirit twenty-five years from now. They are the keepers of long-term history, carrying a mental map of every kindness and every route they have ever known.

Perhaps the most original lesson we can learn from the donkey is the courage of humility. For thousands of years, they have been the "silent architects" of civilization. They have carried the water that grew our crops, the stones that built our homes, and the people who founded our cities. They did this without the ego of the warhorse or the demand for glory. 

They are the guardians of the small, often standing their ground against predators to protect sheep and goats, acting as a shield for those more vulnerable than themselves.

It is time to stop the jokes. To call someone a "donkey" should not be an insult; it should be a tribute to their independence, their caution, and their unwavering loyalty. 

This World Donkey Day, let us look past the heavy loads and the dusty trails. Let us look into the eyes of this gentle animal and see them for what they truly are: the most grounded, patient, and dignified souls on the hillside.

Organ Donation

August is marked as the “Organ Donor Month”.


Organs that can be donated are: Kidney, Eye, Lungs, Heart, Liver, Pancreas, Cornea, Small Intestine, Skin tissues, Bone tissues, Heart valves and Veins. Wow! to think so many parts of ourselves can be used after we leave this world. Since we cannot take them with us, why not donate them, so that others can benefit from them : “Don’t take your organs to heaven with you. Heaven knows we need them here.”


Anyone can register as a donor: young, old, large or small, ill or healthy. We are never too old to donate; there is always a chance that we can donate an organ or tissue, whatever our age.


Our recycling goals must not end by just recycling old things, clothes, or some junk like coke cans etc., instead we must seriously think of recycling our organs after our death. None of us are perfect human beings, but we sure can become perfect by willing our organs to be used to save many lives.


Here is a nice poem to inspire us:



To Remember Me Robert Noel Test (1926-1994)


To Remember Me


At a certain moment a doctor will determine that my brain has ceased to function and that, for all intents and purposes, my life has stopped.


When that happens, do not attempt to instill artificial life into my body by the use of a machine. And don't call this my "deathbed." Call it my "bed of life," and let my body be taken from it to help others lead fuller lives.


Give my sight to a man who has never seen a sunrise, a baby's face or love in the eyes of a woman.


Give my heart to a person whose own heart has caused nothing but endless days of pain.


Give my blood to the teenager who has been pulled from the wreckage of his car, so that he might live to see his grandchildren play.


Give my kidneys to one who depends on a machine to exist from week to week.


Take my bones, every muscle, every fiber and nerve in my body and find a way to make a crippled child walk.


Explore every corner of my brain. Take my cells, if necessary, and let them grow so that someday a speechless boy will shout at the crack of a bat and a deaf girl will hear the sound of rain against her windows.


Burn what is left of me and scatter the ashes to the winds to help the flowers grow.


If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weaknesses and all my prejudice against my fellow man.


Give my sins to the devil. Give my soul to God. If, by chance, you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs you. If you do all I have asked, I will live forever.

To my Dear Sister.... and her Husband Narayan

Radha  Narayan: my lovely sister  and her husband Narayan

Good Morning to you!

Today, years ago (45 years) you met Narayan,  a very handsome man, who literally swept you off your  feet and married you. You had a very adventurous life with him, however,  he also taught you so many things, so that you could be independent, and self reliant. 

 Imagine you were not used to going anywhere without him, while you were in Delhi and
Madras. You would have never even imagined the life, that was waiting for you, in the US.
Before you could even blink your eyelids, he made you learn car driving, banking and so many things which you were first very reluctant to learn, but being pushed by him you had to do all those things, which worked out well for you. For not only you learnt all
those things, they also came in handy, later in your life. You had to take care of so many things, you had so many responsibilities, you had to be Narayan's Chauffeur. Although he could no longer drive, he was constantly there beside you guiding you, making you feel very confident.

You too, helped him in his various business ventures, learning from him all the time.

We could never believe, that you were almost the 'Man' of the family there in the US.

You went with dreams in your eyes to the US, only to  find challenges thrown your way at every step. You had a good  Day Care Center there, you were a very good hostess, you helped  young people , who had come to do their higher studies, by offering them free stay in your house. You were a good mother, a good care giver,  a good loving wife, and you led your life with a big smile always on your face.

How thankful you must have been to Narayan,  for leading you  gently, yet firmly by his hand and encouraging you to do all those things and many others too.

You turned to be the smartest in our family. We are
all so proud of your efforts in doing things which initially you
never liked. You took life as it came by, changing to suit the
circumstances, and facing the challenges that life threw randomly at you.

Everyday you must be thinking of all the good and bad times you spent
with him happily, and this day must be all the more special to you,
for this day would always remind you of the beautiful lotus that you
have bloomed into, having the independence to lead life as you
want without having to be dependent on anyone.

 Both, you and Narayan are the perfect example of the saying,"If life gives you a
lemon, make lemonade out of it" Both of you never gave up dreaming, and leading life with dignity. Many people would have packed their bags and come back to India, but you both stood firmly and lived  beautifully, always inspiring people to do the same.

It is indeed sad to lose someone who was so close to you, a friend, a guide , a mentor, and a loving husband. But as he said, "someone has to leave first, and it is not always in our hands, but to be prepared is always in our hands". Although today he is no longer present, beside you, yet, you have the feeling that he is still watching you and guiding you, protecting you.

                                             Narayan dancing at his daughter's wedding 

See everything went off well with you even after he left, your eye
surgeries went off well, and also the knee surgeries went off well
without any hassle, and you have reached your road to recovery.

 Radha with her son and her grand children, she looks too young to be a grand mother

Her two loving Grand kids

I am sure there are many things to be happy, and to look at life from
a new perspective.

Be always happy, cheerful and blessed!
Love you both so much,
Rama

I am sure these are the words you would like to convey to Narayan, as
he looks at you with love and affection:

Here comes the sun And I say It's alright.

We went for a short break to Yelagiri, a hill station on Tamil Nadu.

There is not much to see there, and our resort was near the quite famous Vel Murugan Temple.

So we went there to have a look at the temple, in the early morning hours.The temple is quite beautiful situated on top of a hill with beautiful views all around.

There was a statue resembling Gatothgacha at the entrance, and I wanted to take a picture in front of him, and I was excitedly pointing the spot to my husband, when this candid picture was shot, without my knowledge.

And look, a whole group of people are enjoying it from behind me!

It is indeed a crazy picture of mine, a perfect proof of how candid pictures are shot without the person being aware of it. It is funny, at the same time natural, for otherwise the person would be posing with a artificial smile.

Here it is : Looks like I am singing a line from the famous song, "Here comes the Sun and I say it's all right"......

Yeh, here's comes the sun!

Here comes the sun, doo doo doo doo Here comes the sun, and I say It's alright. 

Little darling It's been a long, cold, lonely winter Little darling It seems like years since it's been here. 

Here comes the sun Here comes the sun And I say It's alright.

 Little darling The smile's returning to the faces Little darling It seems like years since it's been here. 

Here comes the sun Here comes the sun And I say it's alright. Sun, sun, sun, here it comes x4 

Little darling I see the ice is slowly melting Little darling It seems like years since it's been clear. 

Here comes the sun. Here comes the sun. It's alright. 
Here comes the sun. Here comes the sun. It's alright.

And finally my picture with the Gatothgacha (look alike) statue!!

Chocolate and Coffee Banana Loaf/ Cake

I found this recipe in a Vegan Site. The lady has simple recipes explained  and she also has videos of most of the recipes in her site.
I am slowly turning into a Vegan though  I am still not 100% Vegan, for it takes time. However as much as possible I cook only Vegan food.
Here are the pictures of my recent cake, I only added some Walnuts and some instant coffee  to the recipe, as I like the crunchy taste of Walnuts, which are also very good for brain health.

Just out of the Oven

 For the recipe go to:http://www.mrishtanna.com/2017/…/chocolate-banana-loaf-cake/

Enjoy the cake with Hot Coffee or

Halwa Poori and what not.......

Pooris come with many yummy combinations. In some states in India it is served with Geela/ rasdar Potato bahji with tomatoes and peas in, some places they serve it with semi dry potato bahji like in West Bengal or they are even crazy about potato Posto and Allo dhum and they serve poories or luchies, as t is known in Bengal, with these combinations. Below is the picture of Allo Posto a poppy seed paste slightly dry gravy curry of Bengal

Come to Maharashtra, you would find people loving it with different kinds of Srikands, mango, cardamom, saffron, pista you name it you have it. (No  pictures)

Come down south, in states like Karnataka, you would find it being served with Pallaya, a kind of mild kurma kind of concoction, and also it would come with some green mint or coriander chutney as extras. (I don't have pictures of the Karnataka style Poori Bhaji)

 Further down, when you come to Tamil Nadu, you would find the best Poori Masala, the aroma wafting through the packet (if you plan to pack it) which is made of Banana leaves, oofh, you won't even have the patience to wait to get home to gobble it down, it is that yummy!
The masala is nothing but the potato masala filling  of Masala Dosa, if you ask me which is best combination, I would give Poori Masala of TN the number 1 position.
Our very own Poori Masala of TN

Okay , now there  is another version also, which Halwa Poori, which is usually made in North Indian for some Pooja, and this is given as a prasad to young girls. This combo too is quite yummy.
It is not just poori and halwa it is also comes along with some yummy dry channa baaji.
I read this somewhere in FB, "Nani ke ghar jayenge! Halwa poori khayenge!! Mote hoke aayenge!!!", and immediately I was reminded of the days long ago, when I was young, our North Indian neighbors used to call me for their special pooja and serve me and my other friends this as prasad.
Sadly, now neither do I have any Nannies (grandmas) alive, nor can I afford to be more moti, but since I had to relive those moments from the past, I decided to make this combo today.
Of course, past is past one cannot recreate it however much we try, but still......no harm in trying to recreate as much as possible.

The Punjabi's also love the combo of  Kadhu Wala Poori, (yellow pumpkin) here is the picture:

And their favorite is also Channa with Poori:

BTW all these dishes were made by me sometime or other.

Seeing all these pictures I am sure many of you are feeling really crazy with hunger, my choice as stated above  is Poori Masala anytime, what is your choice?

Mother's Day Special!

Today, again, I am left with only memories of my mother. It has been almost 24 years since my mother passed away. Last year in December, I lost my father too at the ripe age of 94. Two lovely people, who loved us unconditionally. If you have been following my blogs I am sure you must have read many stories and anecdotes, about my mother and my father. I don't want to repeat myself again. Memories are always there, but during such special days, they come out as if some dam has been broken, and they just tumble out relentlessly.

Keeping my thoughts to myself, I just share this with all of you











My mother wore this beautiful saree for my wedding. It was actually a nine yard saree. She always loved green and red combination, she even had a beautiful green and red Mysore silk saree too. After she passed away, each of us took a few sarees of hers. I took this saree as I knew she loved it very much. It had worn out in some places so I made it into a 6 yards saree.

How I wish there was a clear picture of this saree worn by her during my wedding.

Whenever I wear it, I feel as if I am enveloped with her extraordinary love for life, and her zest of enjoying every bit of life. She didn't have great desires, only small ones, and little things were enough to make her feel very happy and blessed. Despite going through many ups and downs in her life she was never grumpy, for her cheerful nature and her beautiful smile never left her.

Mother's Day Special!!

Some Good Hindi, and Tamil Short Films

Recently while I was watching some cookery shows in Youtube, I happened to accidently  come  across, some really interesting Short stories filmed with some known as well as some unknown actors, with good directors, with the duration of each film being from 8 mins. to 15 to 30 mins.
Some were from well known authors too. I have become totally hooked to these short, very profound movies.
I really missed the old Hindi serials which were aired in DD years ago.  In those days they didn't have such crazy Saas Bahu  serials with every character being very wicked and scheming, with everybody wearing designer blouses and sarees with heavy costume jewellery etc.
The stories used to be very simple and with lot of food for thought, we would be led to ponder over the story in depth for a long time. Mostly they were stories written by famous Hindi novelists. The actors were dressed in a simple manner, and they also acted very well. Some short stories of Tolstoy and other Russian authors too were made into short films. They were so good, intellectually stimulating.
 Then came the invasion of our television,  with serials made by the likes of people like Ekta Kapoor, and others followed her style : they were called Soap Operas likes the ones that had people hooked to them all over America.  I too was a big fan of Bold and The Beautiful and Santa Barbara.The B&B  is still running and Santa Barbara ended years ago. They had stopped airing B&B, and though one can still watch it in the net,  it has become very boring, with the actors becoming quite old, and their children continuing in the same path.
My TV watching has been cut down to just some travel, cookery, and some repeats of comedy serials like, Friends, Seinfeld, and Frasier. Somehow I never get tired of watching these comedies, and now they have stopped Frasier, and Seinfeld, really sad.  

Coming back to the present, I was thrilled to see some sensible type of films that didn't all of your time: it was such a relief!
I am posting some links to two short film which  I am sure you all would really love watch: they are short Hindi movie, but you can watch also many Tamil, Malayalam, Bengali, Telugu movies too, most of them come with sub-titles in English. All of them are award winning short movies.

Here are the links for you:https://youtu.be/ZmVPCnxN-1A

https://youtu.be/N1R6Fyf5V6M

Everyday, I watch a few of them in all languages, and I am very happy to share them with all of you.

Message In A Bottle: a beautiful movie

I happened to see this movie once again when it was today on TV.
It is such a feel good movie, although the ending was really sad and very moving.
It  is a very simple story : A woman finds a bottle washed ashore with a message in it and it interests her so much, that she decides to find the man, and finds him too.
She goes to the place where he lives and finds out that he is ship builder who had lost his wife under very tragic circumstances. He loves his wife, who is no more so much that,he cannot think of moving on in his life. He is stuck with her memories.
When this lady from Chicago comes to meet him, there is mutual spark between them, and they both fall in love with each other. However, when taking a decision, he backs to because his love for his wife pulls him away.
The lady from Chicago goes away, for she could understand his feelings for his dead wife.
Few months later, he decides to tear himself from the past, and sails into the future with lots of hope and love. He sails in his new boat to windy Chicago to start a new life with his new love, but unfortunately, he dies saving somebody from drowning.
The actors Kevin Costner, Robin Wright, and Paul Newman, did their job brilliantly. What I like about these English movies is that there is no high pitched drama, one can feel each of the character's emotion fully.  One can feel it as if one is actually going through the pain, the love, the helplessness, the dilemma. It was really a very touching movie.
Most stories  written by Nicholas Sparks, have such sad endings, at least the ones I have seen.
The Notebook, Nights In Rodanthe,  and many others written by him are really heart wrenching

Sometimes it is so difficult to let go the past, some people do get over their past and move on to new happiness, but there are those for whom it  is simply not possible.
I have an aunt (actually she is my husband's aunt), who lost her husband after being married to him for 44 years. They had 3 children and were very happy together. My uncle had lots of health issues as he grew older, but still he asked her to lead her life the way she always did, and never bugged her to stay constantly looking after him. He told her that it is enough  for one person to be sick, it is necessary for both of them to be sick. He was a wonderful person.
One day he died, and our aunt felt totally alone with no one to share her thoughts  with. Two years passed by, when one day she met a man who was a retired Naval Commodore, and a widower. They met through common friends regarding some transactions. Slowly they started communicating with each  other more often, till one day he proposed and really shocked her.
He  also had two married daughters with children, and he was also lonely  without his wife, whom he had lost when he was very young. With some persuasion, my aunt finally said  yes to him, not without lot of hiccups from her children and some narrow minded relatives.
To make a long story short , she did marry him, and found love again in her life, and he too found happiness after many years of living alone.
Our aunt was a trend setter. She was 67 years old when she got married again, to a man of the same age.
They are happily married and it is going  to be almost 8 years now. The children also came around and everybody is happy, that two good people had found love again.
How many people can find true love twice in their lives : these people found it and surely, we all feel so happy for them.
And I am sure their respective spouses too feel happy watching the loves of their lives happy again.
In this new year (for many it is new year now in India), let us let go of the past, every aspect of it, and open our arms to new happiness and new life with new meaning.

Cravings for things that could not be had......

Few days back I was having some roasted cashew nuts, and my mind immediately travelled  back to the days when having such roasted nuts was unthinkable. I want to take you all with me down the memory lane.
I was very young, maybe around 5/6 years old
Those days we used to go to theaters to watch  some movies, once in a while. My sisters and my brother and myself, we used to be very happy and excited  with such  outings. Now during Interval, it was normal for most people to indulge  in buying some potato chips, ice cream, samosas, cool drinks like coke, fanta etc from the vendors who would come along with their wares tempting everybody.
At those times , it was natural for us too to expect  our parents to buy us  at least one  or two things. But alas, my parents could not afford to waste hard earned money on such junk food, and my mother would pinch me if I made a scene there. She would say, she would make chips at home and we can all have as much as we wanted.
However, the aroma of samosas, potato chips wafting from almost everywhere, used to be too unbearable, and suddenly I being the youngest in the family would feel very, very hungry. I would wish I was  born in a family where people can freely buy whatever they wanted without any restrictions. When I used to look at other kids enjoying their pop corns, colas and what not, I really used to envy them. The fun of watching a movie munching something constantly, somehow was never possible.
Then there would times like lunch time in school, where rich kids would have servants coming with their lunch, with napkins spread  out, their plates laid out and feeding them hot food, and these kids would be given cold homemade juice from the flask, and I would have to just eat by myself from the tiffin box some curd rice and drink ordinary water from the school tap in the hot weather. I used to wonder whether I would ever be able to have the life the other rich kids had.
 Then there was another time I remember, my mom had taken me shopping with some of her friends in Guwahati, I don't exactly remember the name of the Bazaar, it must have been Fancy Bazaar.
 We entered a shop selling ready made garments, my mom and her friends started looking at various dresses/ shirts, discussing between themselves, about the high rates that were mentioned on each  item.
I was alone looking, at the various colorful frocks attractively displayed inside the showcases, some pinned on the shop's wall, when a beautiful frock caught my attention. It had  brown and mustard print all over  it, and  it was a kind  of low hip kind of frock, that was in fashion those days.
I immediately, pulled my mom and showed her that frock and asked her to buy it for  me. My mom also liked the frock very much, and she asked the shopkeeper the price for the frock. When she heard the price she was shocked, for it was too much, she tried her best bargaining skills to get him to lower the price a little, but he would not budge, so my mom had  to leave the shop without buying that beautiful frock for me.
I was so sad, I can still remember,crying  uncontrollably all the way to our home, nothing my mom said could pacify me.
Now when I think back, I feel bad for the way I felt at that time. My parents gave us everything without any hesitation, but still being very young, I suppose I felt, that they didn't do enough or were not in a position to satisfy every wish of ours.
As I grew older, I could  fully understand, how difficult  it was for them and really appreciated them, for all they had done which was within their means.
Now, years later, I can buy as many potato wafers,  ice creams, as many bottles of Fanta, Coke and roasted cashew nuts etc.but  the experience  of  having them  inside a cinema hall has somehow been lost. Although, now too, we can do that, but somehow it does not feel the same.
I am sure many of you would be able to relate my random and very silly experiences

“I believe the world is incomprehensibly beautiful — an endless prospect of magic and wonder.” — Ansel Adams

It has been ages since I blogged. Various events kept me busy for sometime, and later, I became a bit lethargic, and at some point I even thought I would never start blogging at all.

However, today, I felt I could at least start by posting some pictures taken by me from our balcony: for I have to start somewhere isn't it?


As I saw the beautiful sunset from our balcony, I saw other interesting things to photograph too, like that lone crow sitting on top of our water tank deep in thought, the beautiful pink and white bougainvillea, bursting with joy,  the purple/ blue Jacaranda looking so beautiful, swaying in the mild evening breeze, the beautiful tall tree hiding the setting sun, the clouds slowly moving towards the sun waiting for it say goodnight to this part of the world, a single bird flying to back to its nest........

Nature at its best!!

Travails of an Environmental Engineer: THE WISE MEN OF THE TAC

Travails of an Environmental Engineer: THE WISE MEN OF THE TAC: 66. THE WISE MEN OF THE TAC THE PLUMBING CONSULTANT Every new project that comes up in Karnataka, be it a Manufactory, a Residenti...

Time,Time..I have all the time --: Travelling Back In Time : A re- post

Time,Time..I have all the time --: Travelling Back In Time : A re- post: During my younger days, (eons ago, I must admit) I had the great good fortune of traveling and living in several distant parts of India, th...

'T' for: Travelling Back In Time

                                                                 Travelling Back In Time

During my younger days, I had the good fortune of travelling and living in most places in India, thanks to my father who was in the Army. 
My travelling days started with my father being posted from Mumbai to Lucknow,  I was barely a year old at that time. We lived in a place called Halwasiya Market, Hazrathganj. I remember, we had a roomy apartment in the  3rd floor. The rooms were built like compartments in a train, first was the kitchen, then a hall, and then two bedrooms, and last the bathroom. All the rooms opened to a long fairly large grilled veranda, and the view was the same on the other side too. We were a family of 6, my parents, my two elder sisters and one brother, I was the youngest. We also had lots pups and kittens roaming around the house for my father loved to bring stray pups and kittens. You can read about their adventures here:

http://rama-ananth.blogspot.com/2010/09/tragic-leaps.html

As grew up, I was put in a nearby convent school called   "The Cathedral". My school days very pretty boring, always dreading the arrival of my class teacher, Miss Williams, whom my mother and myself nick named as Miss Pulliams, (Pulli means Tiger in Tamil) for  she would pounce on us the minute, she saw us and start complaining to my poor mother how hopeless I was in my studies. 
My mother would come everyday around 12 pm with my lunch of Rasam mixed with rice and some vegetable curry. She would feed me, and I would make such a fuss saying everything was so hot with lots of chilies, and she used to somehow cajole me into finishing every bit saying it was not hot at all, as she had put lots ghee/ clarified butter, and that it was very tasty. if that didn't work she would say to eat fast as she could see Miss Pulliams coming our way.
I can never forget the aroma of my mother's rasam, it used to be really tasty, for I can still taste in my imagination, and  when at times I get the same taste coming from the rasam I make, I am absolutely thrilled.
Coming back to my story, after  lunch,  I would not want to go to the student's washroom, as it always had a nasty stink like all school washrooms. So we would quietly sneak into the staff wash room and finish washing quickly before we were caught.
After school again, my mother would come to take me home, and as soon as we entered our building, which  used to be full of shops on the ground floor, I would start pestering her to buy me a small Cadburys chocolate, before we started to climb the stairs leading to our flat. Everyday, the same scene repeated itself. 
In the evening my 2nd sister used to go to learn Bharatnatyam dance, and I also wanted to learn, so also went along with her. But after a few classes I refused to go, for I used to dance very badly and the dance teacher used to hit me with the stick every time I made a mistake. It was horrible.
During the evenings my father would take me out with him, for he wanted my mother to be free, while she cooked for the night  without my constant irritation. But I used to be afraid of my dad for he used to be quite strict. Somehow he would persuade me, saying he would buy me ice cream and take me to his friend's place where I can play with his kids.
He would  take me to the  nearby Mayfair theater, which used to have a very good ice cream parlor, and buy me a big plate of ice cream. Oh God, how I used to love eating  ice creams there, for on a big slab of  ice cream there would always be 2 artistically placed wafer biscuits, and I still  can't say whether I liked the wafer biscuits more or the ice cream more.
Then one day he took me to a photo studio, and the photographer was a Sardarji, (a Sikh) he was known to my father, and would often tell my father that I was so cute, (for I looked a lot like the famous child artist/ actor Daisy Irani), that he would like to take a photograph of me, So one day he took me to his studio dressed in a lovely orange color pant and a printed shirt, with a colorful umbrella, for it was supposed to be color photograph.

The good Sardarji  kept on asking me gently to smile, but I would not smile, for his tall, hefty figure with beard and moustache, and turban really frightened me, I could barely stand still leave alone smile. Anyway he somehow made me stand on a bench with my colorful umbrella and took the photograph which came out quite well, and for many years this framed picture of mine was there in our house, till one fine day it just vanished, never to be found. I somehow suspect, it was taken by my second sister, and it must be with her in Boston where  she lives. I just have a copy of it a: small black and white passport size picture.

I must tell about my school play, where you would be shocked that only role that was given to me was to sit like a shrub of  flowers. No Little Red Riding Wood dialogue for me, not even the bad wolf role, I was told to bring some flowered saree, which was wrapped round me , and I had to sit still and be a part of the jungle shrubs. So much for my acting talent, and my looking like the child star, Daisy Irani...

I must say, I had lots  and lots of the  yummy cold drink called "Milk Badam" (Cold Almond Milk), the taste of which still lingers in my tongue, however, I am yet to taste a drink, that can bring back the same magic. I also loved drinking ice cold Coca Colas and Fantas, from glass bottles. Somehow it doesn't taste the same these days. In fact, I stopped drinking  drink these long back.
Oh, the good old days will they ever come back?
Well this all I can remember of my stay in Lucknow.
From there we had to move  to Assam, can you imagine travelling all the way from Lucknow to  Guwahati, by train, it is a very, very, long journey, with so many states to pass through, and so many trains to change.... well some other time I would blog about it.

 Did you enjoy the travel back in time with me?

My Mother And Me: A Few Thoughts on Mother's day

After a long time, I feel drawn to write something about my mother. It is not that I think of her only  on this day, in fact I always keep thinking of her.
I thought I would share with you some random thoughts about my relationship with my mother.
I remember, when I was very young, I must have just joined school, and my mother used to take me to the school which was just next door, a convent school called "The Cathedral" in Lucknow. You might wonder, how I can remember things that happened while I was so young, I just don't know,  but I can remember all those things very clearly even at this age.
As I started school, I soon realized I was pretty dumb, and a very slow learner, I just couldn't understand anything that was taught in the class. I was weak in everything. every time, my mother came to pick me up, the class teacher would complain to her about my inability to stay focused in the class. It would really upset my mother very much, though she would try her best in the house to make me understand. Sometimes she would get so frustrated that when I missed some number while counting, she would poke the tip of the pencil on my fingers making me understand how to count correctly. My father was known to be more strict, so  seeking his help was out of question. My mother was always very patient, but somehow with a child who cannot understand the basics, she was bound to be  irritated. I have no complaints against her, it is just so funny when I think about it now, for her poking my fingers with the pencil point used to hurt me so much, that it would bring tears to my eyes, and  I would wish that I could be smart as the other kids of my class.
So, everyday since, the class teacher would have something or other to complain about me, my mother started to avoid getting caught by her. The class teacher's name was Miss Williams, and both of us changed her name into Pulliams (Pulli means tiger  in Tamil, and just for rhyming purpose we used to call her Pulliams).
My mother would bring lunch to the school, and we would play hide and seek with Miss Pulliams.
I was a real problem child, in other ways too, troubling my mother, making a big fuss about eating too. Poor thing she would bring tasty Rasam rice with a very tasty potato curry, but would have me making a fuss about it being very hot and spicy, she would cajole me into eating saying she has put lots ghee, and the potatoes were roasted very well and had no chilli powder  in them, and if everything else failed she would threaten me, saying she could see Miss Pulliams coming  our way, and that would be enough for me to swallow everything  in one go.
Then , there was the problem of using the School toilet meant for students which would always be stinking, and I would not like to go there at any cost. So my mother had to smuggle me somehow to the staff bathroom, without being caught by any of the staff. So much trouble my mother had to go through for such a worth less child.

Then came the tantrums while going back home. We used to live in a flat on the third floor, and I
would create a big drama saying that I cannot climb so many steps, unless she bought me a slab of Cadbury's chocolate (it used to be the thin slab) from the shop that was just next  to the staircase.
I don't think I would have done all these for my own children.

I used to get whooping cough a lot during that time, especially during the night, and my poor mother would be awake trying to comfort me all through the night, and on top of  it  I had the habit of sleeping with my fingers holding one of her ears tightly.

As we grew up, we always confided everything to our mother, for she would keep everything from our strict father. She did so many things for us without complaining, whereas, we were so engrossed with our own lives, we never thought of asking her what she wanted, or what we could do for her  to make her life a little more bearable.

Mothers stand for unconditional love, they don't remember the troubles they had gone through to make our lives comfortable, they are happy if we are happy.
Can we say for ourselves,whether we have been good mothers, I doubt so.
They did not have the facilities we have these days, yet they were so patient and tried to be the best mothers. Today, we have all the facilities, yet when it come to dealing with  our children  in a matured way, we find ourselves failing.
Today we tend to be more self centered, not that every mother is like that, but most of us tend to be like that only.
 I salute all the mothers who understand their children and do their very best to not only be good mothers but also be good friends with their children!!
Happy Mother's Day!

The Good Old Days

Now a days, very often I think about the kind of life we had when we were very young. We never bothered about anything, we ate when we felt hungry, we were always playing something or other with friends / cousins, we were either cycling madly under the hot sun, without getting heat stroke, never slept in the afternoons, read books like Enid Blyton, Amar Chithra Katha, Phantom and so on.
Life was pretty carefree, with no worries, no tension. How simple life was then.

In the whole lane maybe about 1 or 2 houses may have had a fridge, and maybe only one house might have had an AC and a car. We would be awestruck when we saw such houses which had one or more  of these luxury items. However, people in those days were very informal and friendly, they would give us ice cubes, sometimes home made ice creams, drop us along with their kids to school in their car. In the afternoons, all the mothers would finish their work and meet and learn something new from each other, like cross stitching, embroidery, knitting, making papads together: they had ample time to do all this despite not having any domestic  help in the house.

Never, have we ever imagined that a time would come when we would not be able to live in houses without attached Bathrooms. For in those days wherever we lived whether  it was a house or a flat there used to be only 1 bathroom for the use of the entire family. Strangely, we never had any problems sharing the one single bathroom.

There was no television, our only source of entertainment was a Radio or a Transistor. We never had surprise tests, or too many home works, no coaching classes after school, no tension for getting into the college of our choice etc.

We never felt tired walking miles to our schools, or walking anywhere. The mode of transport was mainly Rickshaws and Buses, and in some places we could use the Tongas. To even have a scooter was a big thing in those days. When we had summer holidays we would be asked by our friends to come and stay  with them  in their houses, and we would have so much fun, if they lived in a colony where they had such facilities like a big swimming pool and lots of common area  to play cricket, gilli dhanda, etc. Then all the parents would plan a big picnic, where the men would take upon themselves to do the cooking and give the ladies their much needed time to chitchat and generally be relaxed.

There was never a need to phone someone before we visited them, for we were always welcome. Plus who had phone those days. Everything was shared with everybody.
I remember, the winters when all of us would pull out the charpais and sit under the warm sun, eating oranges, playing Ludo, and Antaskhari and so on.
We would go to theatre to watch some good movies, eat Samosas, Wafers, Ice creams and drink Coke, Fanta or Goldspot, have a good time.

I remember during my college days too after our college got over, we would just go to our friends place or they would come to our place and we would be chatting, going out together doing window shopping, eating Muri, Churmur, Bhel Puri, Golgappa, drinking countless numbers of Chai. We were all so slim despite eating everything without any restriction. I think it was because of our walking everywhere, we never felt the need to spend time exercising. We never even heard  or spoke about diet or dieting, and  exercising. We were so healthy.

With the advent of TV, which not everyone could afford those days, we found people who had TV  inviting us to come and watch TV in their homes, where they themselves would have a whole lot of family members and on top of that, we would also be there watching some old Hindi movie with them. The only Channel was Doordarshan. Strangely the practice those days was to watch TV with all the lights off, in total darkness.

How slowly, yet steadily things have changed, and how we have changed accordingly. Now we cannot do with just 1 bathroom, 1 bedroom, 1 TV, 1 Car, 1 Phone. Now we have to call up if we are thinking of visiting somebody, and expect the same from them too. We don't like to share anything with anybody. Today, we are more eager to do the home work/ projects given by the school for our  children to do. We want them to go for this and that coaching classes, we don't even let our tiny tots enjoy their holidays for we want to them to attend some Art class, learn Karate, learn music/ dance or do something. We don't want them to just be themselves and just let them enjoy their holidays the way they want to. We want to control every phase of their lives, what they should study, where they should work etc.

We don't eat together, as each one has their own time, and their own way  of eating. We don't like entertaining guests, we just feel obliged to do so, for we have our own  routine to which we have got used to, and we don't have that kind of time.
I am not saying all of us are like this, but most of us are generally like this, even though we might not really want to be like this.

Times have changed and I feel we have also changed, and change is always good. Fifteen years back even I used to walk everywhere, because the roads were good,  it was not so hot and dusty, but now a days it is impossible to walk, what with the heat, dust, and the bad roads with no foot paths, and the heavy traffic where you find two wheelers riding on whatever little bit of the foot path that is left, not caring for the pedestrians: we are all literally living in hell!

Good old days are just memories, meant to be cherished for what they were, one should not expect  the present to be just like the past.

Beat the Heat: have a Piña colada

Piña colada
Cocktail
The piña colada is a cocktail made with rum, coconut cream or coconut milk, and pineapple juice, usually served either blended or shaken with ice. It may be garnished with either a pineapple wedge, a maraschino cherry, or slices of coconut .
(Wikipedia)

Main alcohol: White Rum
Ingredients: 3 oz (3 parts) Pineapple juice, 1 oz (one part) White rum, 1 oz (one part) Coconut cream

Preparation: Mix with crushed ice until smooth. Pour into chilled glass, garnish and serve.
Served: Blended with ice (frozen style)
Standard garnish: Maraschino cherry, Coconut slices, Pineapple slices.
Made with freshly made Pineapple Juice, fresh Pineapple wedges

Place: Lush Green & Cool Surroundings of our house

Sorga Vasal- Doors of Heaven

It has been months since I wrote anything. And I have not even been visiting other bloggers.
Somehow, I could not do both these things, and I have no excuse, other than being very lazy.
Maybe, it was a writer's block, I don't know. I am sure we all go through this phase sometime or other in our lives.

On December 26th 2015, my father was finally released from this world. He passed away without much struggle.

Before he passed away, he had his wish fulfilled: that is visiting his home town Srirangam for the Vaikuntha Ekadasi, which is very auspicious for all Tamil Brahmins. He has been visiting his home town ever year for this festival. My brother made arrangements to take him by Taxi and also stay in his ancestral home there. My father was very happy, and was extremely talkative with all his near and dear ones who came to visit him. He could not place any of them very clearly, but he was vaguely aware of some of the events in their lives and was happily recounting them. He stayed in Srirangam for about 5 days, and kept telling to my brother, that he would die within a week or so.

When the day came for them to leave for Madras, he became very adamant and would not leave his house, holding on tightly to the railing of the staircase. With great difficulty, my brother had to carry him to the waiting taxi to go back home.

When he arrived in Madras, there too he created a big drama saying he will not climb up to the house holding with iron grip the gate of the house. However, he was finally carried upstairs. Dealing with Dementia patient can be very, very tough, and we must give full marks to my brother and his wife for bearing everything .

21st December 2015 was Vaikuntha Ekadasi and my father was there in Srirangam by 18th December. They were there till the 23rd December.
The significance of Vaikuntha Ekadasi:
There are 24 Ekadasis observed by Hindus during the year. Of these Vaikunda Ekadasi celebrated in the Tamil month Margazhi (Dec-Jan) is considered very auspicious. On this day people accompany the Lord to the doors of Heaven (SorgaVasal, Sorgam - Heaven/Vasal - Doors). In all temples the Sorgavasal will remain opened on this day. People remain awake the previous night and go to the temple early in the morning to enter the Sorgavasal. People take up fasting on this day for all their wishes to come true. It is believed that one who worships Lord Vishnu on this day will reach Vaikunta (Heaven). This festival is of great significance at all Balaji Temples especially at Tirupati and also at  Srirangam.

 We all feel so happy that the wish of our father finally got fulfilled, even though he did not die there, still he had the good fortune of being there at that auspicious moment, and just as he had predicted he left this world within a week. I believe only very good people are taken away by God in this manner.

My chithi (my mother's younger sister), too had a very dramatic and good death many years ago on this Ekadasi day. She was absolutely normal on that day and had gone with her daughter in law to visit the famous Parthasarthy temple in Triplicane Madras, and after darshan, she suddenly felt very uneasy, and just dropped dead right there (silent heart attack).
 Back to our father. 
On the 26th morning he seemed very normal, had his morning tea, and since he doesn't take breakfast, he was about to have his lunch as usual at around 10 am. However on that day he told my brother that he was not hungry, but my brother persuaded him to at least have some curd rice. While my brother went to bring  it to him, he suddenly heard my father wheezing very violently. He was shocked for our father never had any kind of wheezing problems, he suddenly was not able to breathe properly also. My  brother immediately took him to a big hospital which is just 2 minutes from our house, and there the doctors tried giving him Oxygen, but our father was in no position to take it also. They tried their level best, but he kept on struggling to breathe and finally had an heart attack and died there within minutes.

To think it was the same hospital, where our father had taken our mother to get her treated for her chronic knee pain, and had to see her get a massive heart attack without any warning.
Our father's death although was sad, we still feel, he was finally free, which is what people of his age (94 years) yearn for. And also in his condition, death was welcome.

  He would always say in his dementia affected state, that he could see people coming and eating after his death, the house is full of relatives and friends, the priests doing the puja for his safe passage from this earth and so on... that amma (our mother) is waiting for him.....
We are sure that wherever he is,  he is safe and peaceful with his creator: he has passed through the "Sorga Vasal".

Your life has ended, but your legacy of wisdom, integrity and courage will go on forever. We miss you Appa.

Happy Deepawali!

Deepawali is usually celebrated early in the morning all over Tamil Nadu.
Getting up early in the morning, before sunrise having the traditional oil bath, wearing new clothes, lighting up lamps all over the house, bursting of crackers, and eating all the homemade / store bought sweets and savories, wishing all friends and relatives, and generally having a good time....
However, with time we have changed, and now it is mostly celebrated in a very simple way. In fact no bursting of crackers too, for more and more people are realising the harmful effects of bursting crackers.

But have people really changed for the better, no, not everyone, in fact, there are still many people who still buy the most dangerous, poison filled crackers, which after bursting leaves poisonous smoke which gives rise to allergies, asthma, and all kinds of breathing problem. Not only that, those who keep buying crackers don't realise the amount of stress and hardship it causes to elderly, sick people, the dogs and other animals.

They are also encouraging illegal child labour, for more and more children would be lured to work for some money and giving up their education and suffer, sitting in dark dingy rooms rolling out dangerous crackers, breathing poison every second they spend their time there. Many become victims of unexpected accidents, because of badly maintained/ managed conditions
Have we really become immune to such atrocities, why do we do such things?

Not only do people burst crackers during festivals , they also burst them if their favorite team wins some stupid match.

Deepawali is a festival of light, it is meant to enlighten people, not to bring darkness in this world. Can't we think of people who have lost their eyesight due to crackers, is this what Deepawali teaches us?

Why can't we just light some lamps and be done with it?

Why do we have to lean on rituals and traditions, which no longer make any sense to any body?

Why do we eat heavy sweets and fat filled savouries and allow ourselves to fall sick?

Do we have answers for these questions?

Can we resolve to do away with rituals which do not match with the times we are living in?

Let us follow the traditions that do not harm anybody.

Instead of bursting crackers, let us buy some useful things for the needy.

Let us not pollute the already polluted world.

Let there be real light in this world: Happy Deepawali !