Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Break From The Past: When things fall apart... (Part 5)


We settled in sunny California. Life was good, we made lots of friends, went travelling around America as much as we could, whenever we could, we were happy in the real sense. Time, had moved very fast. Our children were now young adults,  the twins and the 3rd one were doing great. They were doing well in their respective fields, they were  grown up boys,  independent,  living in  apartments near their University. I found myself with lot of time in my hands, and embarked into learning the things that I always wanted to learn,  but could not because of being busy with home and children. Everything has its own time, and my time to learn had come knocking at my door.
I was pleased with myself, and I was truly happy. Unlike Australia, life was not so laid back, and I enjoyed every bit of it. I thought Chandran too,  would be pleased to see me learning to do so many things all by myself. But something was not right between us ---- something was seriously wrong ----- When did things go wrong, I cannot put my finger to it . Everyday little things were enough to spark a fight between us for no apparent reason, when previously one of us would always make up (and I used to love our making up so much that sometimes I would deliberately find reasons to fight with him). But alas, now none of us  bothered about making up, we were too proud to be the first one to say sorry....... the ego that was absent between us so far had somehow, crept into our lives.
Could things really become so bad between two people who were supposed to be so much in love with each other?
What went wrong, why????
I racked my brain to find answers to so many questions, that was plaguing me non- stop.
 Each time I did something interesting and praise-worthy he would only try and find fault with me. He even started to degrade me in front of friends though in a humorous manner .. it didn't hurt so much in the beginning, but when it became a standard pattern with him, taunting and always poking fun at me, it really hurt. I could not believe that this was the same Chandran whom I fell in love,  got married and had three kids with him. At first I let it go, thinking it was pressure from his job that was making him behave like that...... for it was true he was really working very hard, and was also doing very well in his company. He had to travel quite a lot, and when he came back he was always too tired for anything. I tried to be understanding, made his favorite dishes whenever he was home, did not depend on him for each and everything, and did not give him the chance to complain. But the more I tried, the more crankier and disgusting he became.
After having been married to him for more than 20 years, I suddenly started to wonder if something was wrong with me ------- why do I blame him only, maybe I need to change myself. I  was literally killing myself mentally,  trying to figure out what was it that was not right about me.
Then one day,  Chandran came with the good news that, he was made the Director of the company, for the board was very pleased with his work. He was so excited and happy. He said, that the company was happy with way their business had increased, and to celebrate that, they had organised a party, and we were to attend that. That day, I saw my old Chandran who I had thought, I had lost forever.
He lifted me, and held me high and said he was able reach this position because of me. I was shocked to hear such nice words from him.....I was moved to tears,  hearing him say such lovely things, which were music to my ears.......... I loved him so much that words were inadequate to describe the joy I felt in his strong arms.......I thanked the Almighty for all that was happening at that particular moment.. I was not going to let this God sent happy moments to pass by. No point in brooding about the bitter past, for in the present everything was fine, and  we must be fully happy and enjoy the moment, without any resentment.
He immediately took me shopping, saying I deserved a new dress, and that he would love to help me in my selection of dress.  We had always shopped together till things started to go wrong  between us. Now he acted as if nothing was wrong between us, as if we had never fought. I was ready to let go, and I felt that maybe I was right to think that all the bitterness between us was caused by the tensions in his job.
Well, he took me to the best boutique in town, and helped me try various outfits, all of them so beautiful that, I didn't have the heart to leave any of them. Then when I wore the black shimmering dress, and came out to show him, he just kept staring at me, as if he was seeing me for the first time. It was indeed a beautiful dress, with a wide deep neck,  that highlighted my broad shoulders beautifully. It  had a gold lace wrap,  that had to be worn as a shawl/ stole, and gold sandals to match it. It was too good!
 The look in his eyes told me what I wanted to know, and  we asked the sales person to pack it. That indeed was one of my best days in a long long time. I decided to enjoy every bit of it. 
The change that came upon us was magical, and unbelievable, as if the bad period was just a pause in our relationship. What brought about this kind of drastic change, all of a sudden, why was I ready to accept this change without any thought?
I had no answers. I pushed all these silly questions from my mind,  wiped the slate clean, and looked forward to happy times ahead.

The day of the party arrived. Chandran was looking so handsome in  black suit, with the white shirt, and the beautiful tie I had bought for him as a birthday gift many years ago. We were all set to go ......

(To be continued)

36 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Latha you were the first to comment, but I didn't see your comment as it went to the spam. Thanks for following this story.

      Delete
  2. How could you leave me like that? A cliff-hanger! I know all's well that ends well, so I know it turns out OK but curious as to the grief!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks Jerry. If only life could be as simple as that. You are the first to comment, and I always look forward to hearing from you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. will be great if you can post a photo of tie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You want the picture of the tie, that is really funny. Thanks SM.

      Delete
  5. I echo, where is the picture? Waiting eagerly for the next post:)

    ReplyDelete
  6. No pictures in this story for a change, Kavita.
    Thanks a lot for stopping by.

    ReplyDelete
  7. A cliff-hanger? :D waiting for the next...

    ReplyDelete
  8. wonderful read, a story which gives us glimpses of real life and the geographical world. Very creative..... keep going:)

    ReplyDelete
  9. You have created a suspense..waiting for next ..but i am happy to see that you got him back the way you wanted..

    ReplyDelete
  10. i think its the pressure of work place and other worldly affairs that some time make an individual little irritant who starts erupting all frustrations at his life partner....and i am happy to know that you were so understanding n co-operative during that period, he is really lucky :)

    looking forward to read more.....!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Nice build up of the climax, Rama:) Await the party!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. HariKrishna, Renu, Irfanuddin: it is your constant support, that inspires me to write.
    Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I guess there are ups and downs in every relationship and it is the "downs" that get us to appreciate the "ups" even more. Eagerly awaiting next part of the story...at the party!

    ReplyDelete
  14. It was only yesterday that I saw the film "The Painted veil", adaptation of Somerset Maugham's novel. The plot held some what similar line apart from the fling of adultery for a while.
    Does long years of togetherness wed locked (sic) bring down slide in relationships?
    A matter to ponder and be quite candid and forthright in real life.

    ReplyDelete
  15. It is true Anil, sometimes a relationship of years too can just suddenly slide down, and sometimes it survives despite it. I think it depends on the couples, how much they love each other,how much they are willing to change themselves instead of trying to changing each other.
    And sometimes it is best they separate and be happy, than somehow clinging on to an unhealthy relationship which would only bring them more pain.
    I don't know, these are things that are to be pondered by the concerned people and only they can come to the right conclusion.
    And since non of us are perfect, we are not in a position to judge anybody.
    Thanks Anil for your comment. I must read that book by Somerset Maugham.

    ReplyDelete
  16. right not fair .. Then what ahhhhhhhh and no pictures ...

    Bikram's

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, no pictures for a change, for it is not entirely my story.

      Delete
  17. So what happened at the party? I can sort of understand how the humor that we took in our stride begins to jar with passing years. I think we continuously need to experiment to find new facets in the old relationship. Well told.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I am glad you could relate to this story. Such things happen all the time and even some of the best relationships suffer because of some circumstances, and some times both the parties are to be blamed for the downfall. One cannot take things for granted, and a relationship can work only when there is effort from both sides.
    Thanks Rachna for your comment.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Dear Rama,
    We saw your blog and instantly loved it. And we wish to invite you to FirstQuarto.
    FirstQuarto is a social original-content sharing tool that lets you post original content in the form of articles, blog-posts, opinions, commentaries, reviews etc. and have your ideas rated, shared and publicized by fellow users. We believe in aiming to make the world's best original content easily accessible and usable. In an age when the world rates just about everything from restaurants to presidents, we realize how important quality-rating is and how beautifully it serves the dual purpose of providing absolute publicity and saving one's time.
    Your already existing blog is easily connected at FirstQuarto. We are, as yet, only beginning to open up to the web so you are one of the first few people we're inviting.
    Please visit http://firstquarto.com/about to find out more.
    We hope you register with us and like our effort.
    We sincerely apologize to contact you in such manner but we couldn't locate your email-id. Hope you take it in good spirits.
    With pleasure,
    The FirstQuarto Team

    ReplyDelete
  20. the humor is cool....waitng 4r your snap n suspense!

    ReplyDelete
  21. I can guess what happened at the party . . . . . but lets not spoil the suspense.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Oh, no you can't leave us hanging!! I love the way you write stories, Rama, and can't wait to read the rest :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. C'mon Saumya, you are a professional writer.
    I will surely be hanging on to comments like this, thanks a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I am off to the party!! Can't wait!! :D

    ReplyDelete
  25. I almost fear to read what will come...You are a very talented writer, rama!

    ReplyDelete