How often have you been told, not to wallow in self pity?
You pity yourself, your situations in life, your traumas, your failures in life, your disappointments etc. You may not even be confiding your disappointments in life to others, maybe just grumbling within yourself, and if you are grumbling within people's earshot, why should any one pounce on you and start advising that self pity is not going to solve your problem?
I personally feel that self pity is the most important and natural feeling in a person's life, for while you are feeling sad for yourself and thinking, and crying, it kind of purges you of all the negativity that has been building inside of you. After a good cry over your problems you feel totally relaxed and totally empty of any signs of depression, as self pity makes you take stock of your life, makes you analyse the mistakes that could have been averted by you, and a sense of enlightenment, no less than what Gautama Buddha achieved under the Bodhi Tree dawns upon you.
Tell me, did you not feel good after a good cry?
It is good to release all the pent up emotions, and finally feel free. However, you will find people looking down at you for indulging in this behavior, and making you feel more depressed and making your confidence level go down further, and would even say that you are very low in self esteem.
We Indians don't need psychologists/ psychiatrists to show us the way, for we ourselves have this gift of looking at the pros and cons of our situations, and "drowning in self pity" as they refer to it, is the very beginning of doing it. It is almost like a meditation, after you finish your crying session you feel totally grounded and know exactly what has to be done. It is your conversation with yourself.
For you alone know, what is affecting you, no outsider can ever know your situation better than you, for your pain is your very own and the medicine for healing that pain too is right within you. You may go and waste hard earned money on psychiatrists who would fleece you by the hour, but, the options shown by him/ her has already been explored by you, and you realize that the solution to your problem does not lie elsewhere, but is right within you.
From my own experience, I would say self pity has enhanced me, made me a better person, more analytical, more composed, more matured, more stronger, and I have emerged out of many a difficult situation in life wonderfully. It never bothered me, what opinion people had of me or of my indulgence in self pity, for I knew it was god sent, and I had nothing to feel ashamed of indulging in it, whenever the need arose in my life. In fact the need becomes lesser and lesser, as you master the art of taking control of your life: becoming the master of your own destiny.
It is not like a drug, that you might get addicted, or something that might drag you into deeper and deeper depression, or any kind of mental illness. In fact, it is an elixir of life, which can bring you out of all these problems, and make you appreciate the positives in your life.
People make statements about "self pity", without understanding its true meaning. For to appreciate light one must experience darkness for a while.
Everyone has a certain destination in life, but the path chosen by each of us, need not be the same. It is better to let your guard down whenever you feel like, rather than suppressing all your sadness and disappointments under the false garb of a seemingly tough person: who do you want to impress, certainly not a bunch of people who would not lift a finger towards your upliftment, for they themselves are a confused lot, not knowing right from wrong.
Do the thing that gives you most comfort, have a good cry, drown all you want in self pity, and see yourself coming out as a free and confident person, full of energy, ready to tackle anything in life with a big smile. Also remember, tears are good for the eyes, they are good moisturiser for your eyes, you would never suffer from dry eye syndrome and may never have to use Artificial Tear Drops. Let the natural tears flow and show you the right path to choose.
While reading about the topic " Self pity", and about how people have conditioned their minds against this natural emotion, made me write this. I feel people should come out of this wrong belief and let their inner sense guide them from darkness to clarity, let the tears of self pity wash away the various emotional blockages and help them come out feeling totally free.
So what's your take, let me know: Self pity: is it a good and healthy therapy or not?