Monday, October 31, 2011

How I Met My Husband.......A long flash back: the story continues....


My parents started their search for a 'suitable boy' for me when I just turned 18. Now it seems so outdated to think of marriage at that age.  Even at that time it was pretty uncommon, but not for my father who always proudly proclaimed "I am the head of the family; I know what is right for everybody in the family".  According to him marriage was not going to happen unless we put in a lot of effort,  and we should always be open to proposals that might come our way.  Then there was the issue of horoscopes to be matched, and a whole lot of other nitty gritty to be tackled, before anything could move forward.  One had to start looking out fairly early,  as these things had to go through a long process, and  therefore, the "sooner the better" was the  philosophy followed by my father. 

Then of course, there was really no reason for panic, for there were many boys waiting to get married.  It started off for me with a boy who was a sales manager in a reputed company in Calcutta. It seemed very ideal for my father for at that time we were living in Calcutta and I was still in College there. But somehow I was not reconciled to the idea of marriage just yet, and the idea of seeing a sales manager was not so appealing to me : for some reason, I know not what or why,  I hated sales people. ( again no offence to people in the 'marketing' field)

But, as usual, I had no choice  in the matter, and I had to see the boy.  I did not much like him : he was just OK -  "nothing great"as my daughter used to say  to any proposal that came her way. Perhaps she had taken after me.  But the same casual manner in which she put it across to us, I dared not try on my domineering father in those days (excuse my constant use of " those days").  All  I could  do was only to pray for the best. However, things did work out well in the end in this case because the Sales Manager too  felt I was too young for him, and therefore unsuitable.

But my father being the type of person he was,  had beseeched every friend and relative to look out for a decent alliance for me. His aim was to get me settled before his retirement which was still about 5 years away. Somehow things were not turning out as my father had imagined, and I was saved the agony for the next 2 years. I could concentrate on my studies without any distractions and was even able to complete my degree. After my graduation, my father was transferred to Madras our home town, as his final posting prior to retirement.   From that very day, my problems multiplied.  Every other day somebody would come to see me, and again I never really liked anyone, though they were all quite good looking and well educated, the horoscopes matched etc. You might well wonder how my prayers worked every time, for somehow at the last moment things would just fall apart, and my father would feel crestfallen  that all his efforts went for naught :  but I was happy. To pass the time gainfully, I was allowed to  pursue my studies to the next level and also attend some art and cookery classes on the side.
A few fellows did come to see me, but due to reasons unknown, they all just fizzled out, I remember vaguely one fellow's father saying that my father was too dominating, another boy himself had the audacity to tell my father that, we were not up to his status, and some other fellow's father felt I was too young for his son and so on.....

Time was fast running out now, my father’s retirement day fast approaching, and he was filled with woe: his last daughter was still unmarried.  Several astrologers were consulted frequently as to find out why things were not working out for me despite sincere efforts on his part. The answer was the same -  that I was going through a bad period ( says the reading of horoscope) but we should not let up on our efforts, for the bad period was only temporary, ending soon and my marriage was surely on the cards.  
Then a learned astrologer discovered that my Lagna at birth had been miscast, and so a new computer generated horoscope  ( it was the time when computer technology was really generating a lot of interest) was made ready : there was however a section of astrologers who did not set store by the way a computer looks at the various Grahas/ houses in the horoscope. 
Astrology being such a science, that never two people would ever see eye to eye in the same matter. 
My father was now caught in a quandary : he did not know whom to believe or disbelieve, for both seemed right in their respective arguments (both horoscopes were correct).  As an even handed compromise, my father took both the sets of horoscopes for matching – try this, and if does not work, try the other ! 


Well, as days passed by, my bad period was becoming good,  all hurdles to my getting married had gone, according to his friend who was our official astrologer, and my father was relieved, when told, "bad phase has left,  your daughter could be married any time". 
With my dear, dear Father
Now the time had come to intensify the search for 'a suitable boy' more vigorously, not that the search had ever been let down. The astrologers went on predicting that the right time had come, but did it really happen, only time would tell.
And so the story continues to chug along, dragging,  like the little red engine slowly ......



This is blue train to Araku Valley in Andhra Pradesh, which also chugs slowly through the scenic hills.


Wow! I can't believe it I have completed 103 posts till now.

38 comments:

  1. oh no! again suspense.... anyway interesting.... waiting for the next post.........


    Your case is so similar to many girls of our community.....the jadhagam, ponnu pakkuruthu, velai varalai, neram vandha thaana nadukkum etc.....

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  2. Ohhh ho another part .. I am very impatient jaldi jaldi the next part tooo pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee...


    Bikram's

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  3. I thought you will finish but we will wait. So you hated Sales people, I am sure you have changed your mind now.

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  4. A; I have not changed my idea, and why should I?

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  5. Ah...you are going to continue? I thought i was going to read about a fairy tale wedding! So, when is the next chapter???

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  6. cool! cant wait to see how you met him

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  7. ohh..Rama...not again.dying to know...:)

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  8. Sometimes, slow journeys make most wonderful times! Enjoying your experience very much and Forgot to tell you that I have spent all my life with a marketing guy who has made a great husband :-)

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  9. Lovely post and can't wait to hear the end of your story :) Your father sounds wonderful and I can practically hear him saying all of those things to you!

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  10. Happy Anniversary ! I am really enjoying your story .The picture with your dad is beautiful .

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  11. Asha, you are very correct, such things are very common in all Brahmin household even now.
    Bikram, the pleasure is in the waiting, with twists and turns to unfold gradually.
    Cloudnine, it was no fairy tale wedding.

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  12. Padmaja, I too am married to a person who started off in his career as Marketing Engineer, and he too is a wonderful person. You must read about his experiences which he regularly writes in his blog:
    http://travailsofanenvironmentalengineer.blogspot.com/

    What I meant was the regular sales people, who keep pestering people, and sometimes I feel very bad for them, for they are only doing their job, yet, they somehow manage to irritate us.

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  13. Thanks for your patience:
    Sudha, Nayana, Saumya and Kavita.
    I will try to finish the story soon.

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  14. Even in north, it was same that time.fathers always wanted to marry their daughters at earliest:)

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  15. Love it very beautiful pictures and the scenic is very refreshing.

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  16. Aha, picture abhi baaki hai meri dost :). Luckily for me, in our generation the hunt for a suitable boy only started after completing my MBA and into my work which was around 23 years of age.

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  17. Can completely relate to this...! I grew up in Kolkata too and my father's last post before retirement was also in Chennai where the "boy searching" quest intensified--God how I hated it! Looking forward to reading the other parts.

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  18. Ha, ha, Rama, I love how you have us all on a hook, waiting for the next chapter...:):)

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  19. Ahhhh!!!! No more to be continued:))ok fine bring the next part soooon.
    Your story is taking the same interest I felt while reading Chetan Bhagat's infamous novels:)

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  20. Nice post.. Happy Anniversary. It is always difficult and puzzle some period for parents to find a 'Suitable boy' their girl.

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  21. hmmmm.... suspense again! You are a great story teller. The photo with yourdad is so sweet. Very hard to picturise him as domineering though :-)

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  22. I hate to admit this aloud...but I am not too fond of sales men either ...just not my type.

    Can't wait for the story to end.

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  23. Oh no!!!I thought you will say how you meet your husband in this post. Enjoyed reading:-)

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  24. I took a break from blogging for some time,but just came by to peek in and read your story .Lovely narration.Waiting for the next part now.I also read your anniversery post.Wish you belated happy anniversery and may u have many more!Loved the traditional looking Taj westend.

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  25. looking forward to the second installment .. having gone through a few boy-seeings myself, I could relate to the post !

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  26. WOW!...so then?? how did it happen..
    so interesting ...wud love to read it further!
    thanks for coming to my blog I got in touch wid you!

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  27. very interesting...looking forward to your story....thanks for dropping by at my blog.and the comments...i have been following Padmaja's blog and like her paintings very much!

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  28. OH OK! So you make us wait more. Our stories are quite similar so far. I mean, I can imagine what you went through. :)

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  29. Bhargavi, Jyothi:
    I can't believe you people too had similar experiences, as both of you are so much younger than me.

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  30. Welcome back Raji, we really missed you. Hope you are enjoying your new job.

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  31. Sarmishta, I am flattered.
    Meera: Welcome to my blog.

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  32. Haha...this is like the USA series, How I met your mother ! Yours is the Bollywood version. Nice !!!

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  33. Break to Banata hai
    was thinking what will happen and suddenly
    Break wait for next episode.

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  34. :) enjoying .... hurry up and come up with the next part please ...

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  35. lovely posts,interesting.hope you had ablast during diwali.lakshmi

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  36. A very sweet post and has all the elements to keep the reader engrossed!

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  37. I'm very excited to read the next post to see how this progresses!!

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  38. belated happy anniversary rama...God bless u lovely family

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