My parents started their search for a 'suitable boy' for me when I just turned 18. Now it seems so outdated to think of marriage at that age. Even at that time it was pretty uncommon, but not for my father who always proudly proclaimed "I am the head of the family; I know what is right for everybody in the family". According to him marriage was not going to happen unless we put in a lot of effort, and we should always be open to proposals that might come our way. Then there was the issue of horoscopes to be matched, and a whole lot of other nitty gritty to be tackled, before anything could move forward. One had to start looking out fairly early, as these things had to go through a long process, and therefore, the "sooner the better" was the philosophy followed by my father.
Then of course, there was really no reason for panic, for there were many boys waiting to get married. It started off for me with a boy who was a sales manager in a reputed company in Calcutta. It seemed very ideal for my father for at that time we were living in Calcutta and I was still in College there. But somehow I was not reconciled to the idea of marriage just yet, and the idea of seeing a sales manager was not so appealing to me : for some reason, I know not what or why, I hated sales people. ( again no offence to people in the 'marketing' field)
But, as usual, I had no choice in the matter, and I had to see the boy. I did not much like him : he was just OK - "nothing great"as my daughter used to say to any proposal that came her way. Perhaps she had taken after me. But the same casual manner in which she put it across to us, I dared not try on my domineering father in those days (excuse my constant use of " those days"). All I could do was only to pray for the best. However, things did work out well in the end in this case because the Sales Manager too felt I was too young for him, and therefore unsuitable.
But my father being the type of person he was, had beseeched every friend and relative to look out for a decent alliance for me. His aim was to get me settled before his retirement which was still about 5 years away. Somehow things were not turning out as my father had imagined, and I was saved the agony for the next 2 years. I could concentrate on my studies without any distractions and was even able to complete my degree. After my graduation, my father was transferred to Madras our home town, as his final posting prior to retirement. From that very day, my problems multiplied. Every other day somebody would come to see me, and again I never really liked anyone, though they were all quite good looking and well educated, the horoscopes matched etc. You might well wonder how my prayers worked every time, for somehow at the last moment things would just fall apart, and my father would feel crestfallen that all his efforts went for naught : but I was happy. To pass the time gainfully, I was allowed to pursue my studies to the next level and also attend some art and cookery classes on the side.
A few fellows did come to see me, but due to reasons unknown, they all just fizzled out, I remember vaguely one fellow's father saying that my father was too dominating, another boy himself had the audacity to tell my father that, we were not up to his status, and some other fellow's father felt I was too young for his son and so on.....
A few fellows did come to see me, but due to reasons unknown, they all just fizzled out, I remember vaguely one fellow's father saying that my father was too dominating, another boy himself had the audacity to tell my father that, we were not up to his status, and some other fellow's father felt I was too young for his son and so on.....
Time was fast running out now, my father’s retirement day fast approaching, and he was filled with woe: his last daughter was still unmarried. Several astrologers were consulted frequently as to find out why things were not working out for me despite sincere efforts on his part. The answer was the same - that I was going through a bad period ( says the reading of horoscope) but we should not let up on our efforts, for the bad period was only temporary, ending soon and my marriage was surely on the cards.
Then a learned astrologer discovered that my Lagna at birth had been miscast, and so a new computer generated horoscope ( it was the time when computer technology was really generating a lot of interest) was made ready : there was however a section of astrologers who did not set store by the way a computer looks at the various Grahas/ houses in the horoscope.
Astrology being such a science, that never two people would ever see eye to eye in the same matter.
My father was now caught in a quandary : he did not know whom to believe or disbelieve, for both seemed right in their respective arguments (both horoscopes were correct). As an even handed compromise, my father took both the sets of horoscopes for matching – try this, and if does not work, try the other !
Then a learned astrologer discovered that my Lagna at birth had been miscast, and so a new computer generated horoscope ( it was the time when computer technology was really generating a lot of interest) was made ready : there was however a section of astrologers who did not set store by the way a computer looks at the various Grahas/ houses in the horoscope.
Astrology being such a science, that never two people would ever see eye to eye in the same matter.
My father was now caught in a quandary : he did not know whom to believe or disbelieve, for both seemed right in their respective arguments (both horoscopes were correct). As an even handed compromise, my father took both the sets of horoscopes for matching – try this, and if does not work, try the other !
Well, as days passed by, my bad period was becoming good, all hurdles to my getting married had gone, according to his friend who was our official astrologer, and my father was relieved, when told, "bad phase has left, your daughter could be married any time".
With my dear, dear Father
Now the time had come to intensify the search for 'a suitable boy' more vigorously, not that the search had ever been let down. The astrologers went on predicting that the right time had come, but did it really happen, only time would tell.
And so the story continues to chug along, dragging, like the little red engine slowly ......
Wow! I can't believe it I have completed 103 posts till now.
